Every Woman's Desire

Ever notice how a woman 's demeanor changes when she knows a man has interest in her? Her walk goes from a lazy strut to an attention-getting, hip-swinging dance to a rhythmic sound only their ears can hear. Her self-confidence blows through the roof. It gets to a point where you can't tell her anything. Her ego soon becomes WAY TOO BIG!!! Eventually, it bursts like a balloon, leaving her in pieces. When it's all said and done, she's left with nothing but scraps.

I was watching some ABC special about unmarried black women in the Atlanta area the other day. There were about four career-oriented women who were in their late 20's to early 30's. Financially, they were good to go. However, the four women claimed to be having a hard time landing their "right" man. It was a serious matter to them that they were single, without a man, alone. One of the women even admitted to lowering her standards in the past couple of years in hope to land her "Mr. Right". But toward the end of the special, there was one woman out of the four that made the most attention-getting declaration:

- "I'd like to be in a relationship or married, but I don't feel like that defines me. So if I don't find the perfect person for me, then I'll just remain single."

As a single woman, I myself have struggled with the thought of being thirty and single. Although I am not thirty yet, the thought of being thirty and without a family of my own was once appalling. Let's take a look at woman's relation to man from the Bible point of view:

- Woman was made from man to be a suitable helper. (Gen. 2:20-24)

God created man and woman to function as a cohesive unit. Man's job was to work and take care of the land. Woman was given the task of assisting her man in working the land.

And we all know what eventually happened: Adam and Eve ate the apple and both man and woman was cursed. Peep woman's curse:

- "...your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (Gen. 3:16)

Hmmm. So ladies, it seems like our desire to secure a husband is something ordained by God. However, it does not mean this becomes the single most important thing in our lives. It means that God placed that desire inside of you. But, just like anything else we desire, we can become obsessive and this is where we get ourselves in trouble. Our desire for our husband should never be placed on the same pedestal as that of the Almighty. When the Lord stops being the center of attention in your life, then you know something isn't right.

For those of us who are single, do not be worried about landing "Mr. Right" (or "Mrs. Right" for the fellas). You know what Jesus said about worrying. If you don't, check out Matt. 6: 25-35. Enjoy life as a single individual living for Christ. As Paul said,

- "An unmarried woman... is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in the body and spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the affairs of the world- how she can please her husband." (1 Cor. 7:34)

Pouring Out Like Water

Ok, so like almost 9 months later...and I have not finished the book. Life's circumstances has caused me to grow as a woman of God minus the book. Now that I have graduated from grad school and have been home for a few months, I have had ample time to load my brain with Biblical knowledge and such. The question is, "Have I?" "Yeah" and "No" is the answer. Aside from the daily struggles of being a follower of Jesus Christ, I have been forced to witnessed God's faithfulness, firsthand. During the process, I have learned and am still learning a lot about this woman named "SABRINA". All this to say, I have been writing down thoughts like a mad woman. All these crazy thoughts and ideas have just been pouring out of me. So, instead of forcing myself to finish the book and ignore my urge to express myself, I chose to listen to what I have to say.

Throughout my life, there was only one person I could be real with. That person was Granny. I could think of the most ridiculous things to ask or say and Granny would always listen, never judging me. As I got older, something happened. I couldn't even tell you what it was. There was a time when I developed the attitude, "no one can be trusted ". So from there, every feeling or emotion felt was hidden, hidden so deep that I became apathetic. Nonchalant and laid back was the attitude I wore, not getting close to anyone or letting anyone get too close to me. I didn't want to care about you and I didn't want you to care about me.

Thank God I am not that selfish, slick talking, New York-attitude-carrying young lady that I used to be. God is transforming me, for real. As I allow His light to shine through me, my opaque nature is becoming transparent. For the first time in my life, I am being "FEARLESSLY REAL". Finally, being released from the bonds that once so easily entangled me, I'm pouring out my heart and running this race set out for me with perseverance. So watch me as I lace up my Nikes and speed through that track!

This Book

So, I started reading this book titled, "Becoming A Woman Who Pleases God," by Pat Ennis and Lisa Tatlock about two weeks ago.  I only read a few pages so far, and based on what I've read, I know this book is going to be addictive.  So I have to watch myself and make sure I'm not taking too much time away from my studies reading this.  Did I just say that?  I'm buggin'.  Life is MORE THAN just Georgia Tech.  But anyways, a dear friend gave this book to me as a graduation gift and I never got the chance to actually read it until now.  It's a crazy story, but last month, I begin to experience something that was oh so familiar, yet so foreign.  An experience or shall I say, feeling deep down inside of me that made me feel like I was floating on cloud 9.  It was someone who provoked that feeling inside of me.  Usually, it's my Father and First Love who stirs up feelings inside of me that keeps me "high".  But it wasn't Him this time, so I began to get worried.  I fought with this feeling for the whole month of February.  It was tough.  I wanted to do, say...something, but I kept asking, "God is this your will?"  If so, it shall be and I should not go on worrying.  So to help me deal with these "feelings" the CORRECT way, I turn to the scriptures and chose to use this book as a supplementary resource.  This is a time when I draw closer to God because I'm fearful of myself and what I may do without Him being central in my life.  Instead of being lead by emotions, I chose to be lead by God and a true woman of God seeks to please Him in everything she does.