Straight From the Dome

I struggle with showin' too much affection

Will he think I like him if I randomly send him a text to see how he's doing?

Will she think I'm a lesbian because I care for her so much?

You don't know me that well and I don't know you like that

But I'm attracted to the God I see in you

He calls my name and pulls me close every time we converse

I gain so much energy

Redbull ain't got nothing on you

I see deeper into you than you know

Even more than I'd like to

When we depart, I lose kilowatts

This is too much work

My force multiplied by your distance gives you jewels

Precious stones that I can't afford to hand over

This is too much work

I'm fatigue

I struggle with high expectations

I expect a lot from myself

Therefore,

I expect a lot from you

You don't owe me anything and

"I owe you all I have" I tell myself

Becoming a gymnast

I bend over backwards and flip for you

You don't tell me to

I don't even tell myself to

But I put on your BIG shoes

Taking your footsteps

I subconsciously become you ...

in my mind,

I think your thoughts:

"I'd want Sabrina to do this for me.

Don't worry, she'll do it

She's a people-pleaser

She will do whatever you need her to do

She doesn't want you to struggle

Go 'head

Ask her to go out her way for you

She'll do that...

And some other things too

Last week I asked her to chauffeur me around

'Cause I don't have a car

Giirrrrllll, she didn't even ask for gas money

She's a pushover"

I ask myself, "Why am I this way?"

Like being invited to church only to find a bunch of hypocrites,

the answer is disappointing

This is too much work

I'm fatigue

I struggle with quiet pride

See, I'll go out of my way for you

But don't you dare try to do the same for me

I'll let my momma do it,

'Cause she's been doing it for years

Still, slowly but shortly,

I'm weaning off her breast milk

"I gotta become this strong, independent woman," I tell myself

I gotta learn how to do this thing...

Living by myself dependent on no one but God Almighty Himself

"But doesn't He work through the people around us?" I ask myself

"Answering your prayers, supplying your needs through His creation..."

I'm selfish...

That's why I struggle with quiet pride

Let others have the chance to give

The best feeling in the world is to see someone's face light up as they

Open a gift you have given them

Why continue to rob people of this joy?

I just don't wanna seem needy

So how do I change?